so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
But break dance skills will only take you so far
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
