can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
