the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
