I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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