I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
