Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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