peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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