i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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