Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
