I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
