We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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