I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Two words: blizzard sex
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
