when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
