dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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