She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
