I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
