Just fell off a train. Bad.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
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