I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
