So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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