My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
