Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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