i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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