she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
