Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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