Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
