its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
