All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
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I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
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I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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