he puts the penis in happiness.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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