I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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