can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
