just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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