There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He shit in the fireplace
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
