Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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