How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
