Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
