If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
