remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
