well I can't set my house on fire every night
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
