That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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