have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
