Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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