their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
