No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
