Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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