The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
