she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
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from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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