dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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