ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
