question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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