Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
