Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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