peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
