i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
