its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
