Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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