His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
