I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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