I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
