whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize