Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
