let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Randomize
