Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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