my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
