Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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