He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
