You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
