I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
