so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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