i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
