I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
