I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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